Neotel (Crap Telecoms Company)

Posted: 3rd January 2013 by admin in News

Neotel must be the worst company in the world. Their service sucks, their products suck…basically every thing from them sucks.

See my rant on www.hellopeter.com about them and their pathetic company.

http://hellopeter.com/neotel/complaints/incorrect-account-974427

Spread the word to each and every person you know not to use them, that they can run out of business and save thousands of people headache and pain of using them.

All the companies, Vodacom, MTN, Cell C, Telkom, offer ten times and cheaper products, but they still have the same old crap from 3 years ago. Don’t even make their current services cheaper for current users.

Glad my contract with them if finished, and yes, I got myself a nice Telkom ADSL line, uncapped for the same price they charge for 5GB of data.

Senior on computer

Posted: 6th July 2012 by admin in Uncategorized

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong ?
He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’


I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired,


‘An, ID ten T error ? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’


Eric grinned ….. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before ?


‘No,’ I replied.


‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’
 
So I wrote down:


ID10T


I used to like Eric, the little bastard.

Left of the road

Posted: 4th July 2012 by admin in Jokes, Uncategorized
Tags:

Before 1994 South Africans drove on the left side of the road.
After 1994 South Africans still drove on the left side of the road.
After 18 years of democracy South Africans drive on what is left of the road.

Some Legendary Afrikaans words

Posted: 24th May 2012 by admin in Jokes

How do you explain the word “sommer” to an Australian? or an Engelsman or to

anyone else, for that matter. It’s not only a foreign word, it’s a foreign

concept.

Perhaps the English never do anything “just sommer”.

But when I’ve explained it, it’s been adopted enthusiastically here.

Although there’s no Australian equivalent either, they take to the idea of

it.

“Why are you laughing? Just sommer.”

 

 

“Bakkie” is another one of those useful “portmanteau” words (see – English

doesn’t have a word for that, either), very useful around this House, for

all sizes and shapes of containers and dishes.

Also used for what they call “utes” in OZ.

I find it an indispensable word.

 

We all know “voetstoots” of course. It’s been officially adopted into South

African English.

There’s no concise, one-word equivalent in English. “As is”

just doesn’t hack it.

And it’s such a humorous word, conjuring up images of pushing that brand new

car home…

 

 

There’s no good English word for “dwaal”.

It doesn’t mean dream, or Daze.

It’s close to absent-mindedness, but that’s not quite it.

Being in one so often myself, I’m not likely to stop using it.

 

 

I think “gogga” is the most delightful word for insect I’ve ever heard.

Children all over the world should use it.

“Insect” just doesn’t stand a chance.

 

 

And I think “moffie” is a far better word than all those embarrassed English

attempts at defining a homosexual: gay, queer, poofter, etc.

aren’t half as expressive.

Somehow “moffie” doesn’t sound as derogatory either.

 

 

And then there’s “gatvol”.

OK, I know it’s very rude. But it’s so very expressive, NE?

“Fed up” doesn’t have half the impact.

It’s like Blancmange in comparison.

“Gatvol” is a word used more frequently than ever in the workplace these

days, with increasing intensity.

 

 

While we’re on the subject, another phrase which outstrips any English

attempt is “Hy sal sy gat sien”. (Also rude).

“He’ll get his come-uppance” is like milquetoast in comparison.

It definitely lacks the relish.

 

 

“Donder” is another very useful word, used as an all-purpose swearword,

which again has no good English translation.

Used as a verb, it can express any degree of roughing up.

As a noun, it is a pejorative, as they politely say in dictionaries, to mean

whatever you want it to mean.

And there’s no good translation for “skiet-en-donder” either.

 

 

It says something about the English that they have no word for “jol”.

Probably the dictionary compilers regard it as slang, but it’s widely

used for “Going out on the town, kicking up your heels, enjoying

yourself…” Not just getting PISSED out of your Skull. (See, there’s

no English translation)

Although curiously, the word “Yule” in Yuletide is related to “jol” and

derived from Old English.

So Somewhere along the line, the English forgot how to “jol”.

 

 

I’ve yet to meet a South African over the age of two who doesn’t use the

word “muti”.

Translation is impossible – “witches potion” is about the nearest I can get.

 

It needs a long cultural historical explanation.

Between “muti” and the pedantic “medication” , there’s simply no contest.

 

 

And of course, my personal favourite “Kak en betaal” , which just says

it all, doesn’t it?

A bland and effete English translation would be “Cough and pay”, or “Breathe

and pay”.

But it just doesn’t cut it, does it?

Not by a long drop.

 

 

POST SCRIPT These are wonderful. Other words that come to mind:

jou bliksem, wag ‘n bietjie, nie so haastig nie, just now,

sakkie-sakkie music, ou swaer, Ya, nee, How are you? No, I’m fine thanks?

 

 

How do you explain the passion of “LEKKER!”? Wow last night was a “lekker

jol”

 

Dudu or doeks. Telling your infant to go to bed is just not the same as: “Go

dudu now my baby!”

 

How about ‘bliksem” – I’m going to bliksem you or ek gaan jou donder!

 

Both wonderful Afrikaans expressions with nothing to compare in the

English language, at least nothing that gives the same satisfaction.

 

 

Trapsuutjies………..the way certain maids and others work. Slowcoach

just doesn’t do it, hey

So first – Mielie pap – there is no word like pap, here… they have

porridge, and when

they say porridge, they mean oats.

There’s no Maltabela, no Tasty Wheat, No Creemy Meal…

In other words, there’s no pap!

 

Mislik – such a ‘lekker’ word, and one that my kids are familiar with.

‘Why are you so mislik, you little skelm?

 

Do you want a snot-klap?’

Which brings us to skelm – here you just get ‘baddies’, but that

doesn’t have the same sneaky connotation of a proper skelm, does it?!

And snot-klap… fabulous word! How would you say that in English?

‘I’ll slap you so hard the snot will fly?’ Yuk! Just not the same.

 

Loskop is another favourite. The English just don’t understand when I

say ‘Sorry, I forgot – I’m such a loskop!’ ha ha

 

Finally, moer! There simply isn’t a word here that denotes the feeling

behind ‘If you don’t clean your room, I’ll moer you!’

Useless people in SA

Posted: 19th March 2012 by admin in Uncategorized

Does other countries also have this sh!t ???

Johannesburg – The Emfuleni municipality in Gauteng is owed almost R2bn in unpaid rates and services, it was reported on Monday.

According to a provincial report on local government and housing, currently before the Gauteng legislature, the defaulters were township residents, The Star reported.

A Gauteng legislature portfolio committee visited Emfuleni to find out why there was an increasing number of service delivery protests and low provision of houses. The committee was told there was no billing system.

Emfuleni comprises Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging, Sebokeng, and Evaton.

I don’t blame Android, I blame Google. Look don’t get me wrong, I love Android, have a Sony Xperia X10, Samsung GS2, Acer Iconia A500, but Apple users enjoy latest ROM from day one. Why can’t Android be built like Windows for pc, you download the ROM, install it on whatever phone that can run Android, and you just download your relevant drivers from the manufacturer.

Can it really be that hard to do?

The way Apple & Google do things have their plus and negatives. Apple has 1 hardware device, one OS, but they way they control your live, I don’t like, plus, in South Africa, when you want to buy apps etc, you have to get yourself a fake US account. Huh? Stupid!!

Android on the other hand, freedom, but if you want the official stuff, you have to wait years for updates. I know it is the manufacturers fault, but I would like to see them give the consumer an option, give us 2 ROMS, vanilla Android, and one with all their customizations built in. The only guys in my eyes that are really contributing to Android is team CM and all the guys on XDA. If it wasn’t for all the custom roms out there, Android probably would have joined the dinosours already.

Windows Mobile (never heard of them, just joking), same issues as Android, way to long to get updates. :-)

Ipad3, mmmmm, sad to say, but seriously considering one.

Android Market Growth

Posted: 21st December 2011 by admin in Android, IT News, News

Android Market Growth

Merry Christmas

Posted: 20th December 2011 by admin in Uncategorized
Tags:
Merry Xmas, Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

First post from mobile phone

Posted: 6th December 2011 by admin in Android

As I am typing this message, I installed WordPress on my Samsung Galaxy S2, and writing this blog entry from my mobile.

Very cool

The Devil & the Old Man

Posted: 10th November 2011 by admin in Jokes